Today I am resting after a three-day conference where I sat and listened to discussions, talks, and sat among strangers for hour on end. When I drove up the Oregon Coast yesterday, stopping to take in the beauty of the ocean, the rivers, and some of the idiosyntricities of coastal, rural Oregon, I was reminded of how exhausting it is for me to sit in meetings. While there were some very interesting people talking about some very important topics, my focus, attention, and energy were constantly reminding me that I am no longer a part of the system which I was trying to participate in. The result was a very tired, exhausted, poorly nourished person looking back at me in the mirror last night. The food at the conference was plentiful and well-balanced, the setting was beautiful and luxurious, yet my experience was draining and it depleted me of energy rather than nourishing me.
I share this experience as a way to highlight what happens when we are not listening to the inner voice, the intuitive sense we have of knowing what is good for us and what is not. We live in a time of great transformation and transition. We look at the world around us, the systems that have been operating for long periods of time, falling apart. The conference I attended had to do with higher education, and the trends, statistics, and conflicting values and interests were evident throughout all the conversations that took place. Most of us can observe in the world around us, how institutional, societal, cultural, and political change abound. What we often overlook, as most of us are caught up in holding on for dear life to the boat we call our life, to keep our own lives in order and functioning. Through the process however, we sometimes miss the inner turmoil, urgings, callings, and messages that our own lives require that we attend. Those of us who acknowledge a Divine Creator, God, Higher Power, Divine Mind and Intelligence, or omnipotent and omnipresent Holy One, we honor the tradition of God's voice speaking to us, through the holiness of God's Spirit. Not the voice of our inner critique that whispers you can't, or you aren't smart, strong, young, or old enough or the rationalizer who tries to convince us that "you had no choice" or it's someone else's fault. The voice of inner wisdom, the Holy Spirit, the intuitive whisper comes from a pure place that speaks of a truth that resounds throughout your body and whole being. It may hit you in the gut, tingle on the surface of your skin, warm and fill your heart, pop the synapses of your brain in a burst, or zing throughout your body like an electric current...however it comes to you, it is the strong voice of Divine wisdom connecting you to your soul purpose.
Much of our understanding and listening happens on the subconscious levels, the dream levels, or through the rational mind and aware heart connection. Those of us who rely on these pathways of wisdom, are often surprised when the answers we seek either don't come through the usual channels or we seem unable to discern or translate the meaning. I bring this up because being a highly intuitive person, I depend on the silent, subconscious messages, and find that in the process, I sometimes overlook that which dwells on the surface and in my full, conscious awareness. Over the weekend I had the experience of watching a movie about J.K. Rawlings, and her journey as a writer. One scene described the moment when the writer experienced the feeling of being acknowledged as a writer. She was at the time, a teacher. She had been called out of her classroom to receive a phone call letting her know her book was to be published. She stood by herself, trying to contain her feelings, and then she whooped and leaped for joy. At that moment, my entire body was shot full of electricity, and I recognized within myself, the feeling of joy at acknowledging my soul purpose. From that moment on, everything else became clear to me, and while looking outside or hoping for some divine inspiration, I found the connection by recognizing in a fictional discovery, the discovery I seek. On the way home, I stopped along the way to take photographs of an area that I'm setting a mystery novel I'm writing. As I photographed the street that features in one of my books, I looked up and saw a banner on a lightpost. It is the photograph posted with this article. There are signs all around us. We receive support from those who love and care for us, and we follow the path that seems to be the right one until we come to a realization, a dead end, a block, or a sign post that jangles our nervous system, awakens our dreams, or reminds us where we are meant to be headed. The discernment of our spiritual purpose and the pathways that we are meant to travel, are by no means set in stone, for we always have choices about which direction to head. We are fortunate to live in times when we have too many choices, according to some, but through spending more time paying attention to that intuitive knowledge we each possess, we are more likely to find ourselves living out the dreams, the passions, the life we believe we are meant to live.
One of the most horrifying things I heard at the conference I attended was the statement by an educator that he backed with facts saying, and I paraphrase, students don't like too many choices. They like to have the plan laid out in front of them, and to know where they are headed and what steps it will take to get there. They like to know what is expected, and then follow the path exactly as it is laid out.
Having been involved in education, one way or the other, for over 60 years (since kindergarten), I wouldn't want to put my faith in any educational system's ideas of reform, trends, or best practices. While I have enjoyed my experiences in academia, I no longer believe as many of my colleagues do, that the only path to the living out of one's dreams is through the educational system. Neither do I believe that an education is not important. Most of my educational experiences were a great support to me, and I regret nothing of my experiences. However, to truly meet the needs of others, we have to encourage the development of the whole person, and the reliance of each of us on the power of our intuitive knowledge and ability to connect to our own gifts, talents, dreams, and desires so that we can develop and live lives in collaboration, in relationship, and in communication in our families, communities, and world of nations and peoples.
Maybe we all "like" a plan and a knowledge of where we are headed and exactly how we are going to get there. The problem with this mindset is things rarely work out according to plan, and living with the expectation that they will, leads to an inability to deal with change. While there is some truth to having a plan and preparing for certain goals, a more important experience is learning to listen to one's own intuitive knowledge, combine it with knowledge, experience, reflection, and relationships that encourage communication, tolerance, synthesis of ideas, and focus on one's emotional, spiritual, intellectual, relational, and physical development and growth.
This morning, the Moon moves into Capricorn, where it meets the transforming Pluto to give us a desire to conscientiously put our hearts, minds, and souls into practical actions and steps toward living out our soul purposes more consistently, more truthfully, and more in alignment with the Divine Spirit in our lives. This process of facing our truth may trigger emotions and make us a bit uncomfortable. Emotions, however, are signals, signs, and indicators of what is moving within us, what is calling us to shift, change, and improve our lives. Neptune in Acquaius at 28 degrees, is allowing for a wealth of spiritual experiences...seeing beyond the traditional and into the wholeness of Divinity and the expansiveness of living a spiritually-based life. Tonight the moon conjuncts bountiful Jupiter encourages us to connect to that which nourishes, sustains, and enriches us; later a lunar conjunction with Pluto (the great Transformer) may trigger reactions from others. When we are feeling full and connected and in what feels like spiritual alignment, we need to be careful with our expectations of others. Our deep and sacred experiences are of the realm of the ineffable; therefore, we are not always able to communicate the depth and power they have on us to others. Let your experiences, ideas, bounty and abundance be what they are. Let them nourish you now for what you have to do, complete, serve, provide, create, or experience later...as part of your spiritual purpose and path. Let others do the same with theirs. Be supportive and provide a safe space for those you love and share your lives with to be with what is for their journey. Avoid competing over values, dreams, and expectations. There is no one right path for everyone; respect and honor your pathway and the pathways others have chosen.
Late tonight the Moon sextiles the Sun, and creates a peaceful, harmonious time for all of us to reflect, revel, relate, and remember our spiritual gifts and calling as we live out our physical experience of life.
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