We are the sum total of all that we have experienced, all that we have been taught, all that we have learned or discovered, and particularly, all that we believe about our experiences. What kind of meaning have we put on the difficulties we have experienced as well as the positive experiences? The Sun and the Moon in Capricorn both have been in close conjunction. The moon is now in Aquarius, but the emotional reactions and responses that were triggered a few days ago by the lunar conjunction with Saturn (and the Sun's tightening conjunction with Saturn), impel us to examine the areas of ourselves, our lives, and our experience with others that need to be adjusted. With the influence of Aquarius' lunar aspects, we may be able to get a broader perspective on how we need to adjust our thinking and our behavior to be more grounded and focused on our true needs, desires, gifts, and challenges. The New Moon in Capricorn, squared Uranus at the 1st degree of Aries (the start of an entire new cycle in cardinal fire energy). This may have brought up sudden challenges, brought out hidden agendas, or sparked unexpected problems. We found ourselves in the emergency room with a child with a high fever the night of the new moon. The plans for a restful night's sleep and a celebratory Christmas breakfast after the opening of presents, were immediately forgotten as Mother, Father, Grandmother, spent the night at the bedside of a sick child. While the illness was transitory and not extremely serious, the awareness of what really matters was brought in sharp focus as we sat together caring for one another throughout the night.
Life's journey and our ability to ground ourselves in that which we believe to be most important, is not just about money and finances. Our financial health is related to other aspects of our lives, but the real gifts that we have as spiritual beings living a physical life are not measured by our levels of productivity, efficiency, effectiveness, or our employment status. We have lived through a number of decades where we tended to overemphasize the materialistic success, level of education, financial status, and ability to "get ahead," over many other areas of life. When our economy sank into the depression that it has been in for the last few years, the rug was pulled out from under our beliefs, thinking, and patterns of behavior. Many of us have had to redefine what it means to be successful and happy. We have had to examine who we are without the job we had for years or without the successful job search we had hoped for when we graduated from university. The question my young friend asked me last week, has been sitting on the back of my mind for nearly a week now, and what I want to say to her is what I am learning myself. Our thoughts are powerful--they can be powerful tools or powerful weapons. Experiences happen. Events happen. Some experiences are a result of choices we make; more often than not, experiences are the result of choices we don't make. Events happen that upset our plans. Our plans are just ideas, stories we have created to help us give meaning to what has happened and what we would like to see happen. John Donne once wrote, "No man is an island, no man stands alone..." He meant we humans are relational, and what happens in our lives is not just a matter of what we would like to see happen. We can't even imagine all the possibilities and options we will be faced with. We are in a constant cycle of reflecting on our own inner truths, responding and interacting with other people in our lives, and becoming ever aware of how we are all connected to forces, energy, and movement beyond our own understanding or choices.
There are two practices that I believe can be useful during times when we feel our survival challenged. Depression, anxiety, worry, anger, frustration, fear....all negative emotional states, can be traps for us if we fail to see that we still can take action and focus our thinking in order to combat the negativity that poisons and deflates us. One practice, called Ahimsa in Buddhist practice, can be found in all spiritual traditions. In Judaism, the Deuteronomist poses the challenge...You have the choice of life and death...Choose life! In Christianity, Jesus' whole message was about the power of Love to change the worst situations...not necessarily because the conditions changed, but because we can change the way we view the conditions. In Islam, it is incumbent upon a true believer to take positive action, to treat everyone with respect and care. The Vedic and Yogic practices all stress caring for and appreciating one's gifts, and sharing and caring for others. Ahimsa is the practice of non-violence. It means more than not hurting others physically; it suggests that we pay attention to the way we talk to ourselves. Listen to the inner voice that fills your mind with chatter. Is the voice critical and judgmental? Of yourself? Of others? Notice if there is a general sense of hopelessness and despair in the way you view life, view your own behavior or situation. Practicing Ahimsa, requires that you pay attention to the details of your thinking and your behavior. What are you doing or not doing, that is harmful to you? To others? When we notice, then we can make an effort to make positive changes.
The second practice, is the practice of gratitude. If I were to ask you right now to make a list of 100 things you are grateful for, could you do it? Try it, and see what you have to be grateful for. Count your blessings. And give thanks for what you have. The practice of gratitude is helpful for getting your mind wrapped around all that you can appreciate about your life. Think of 5 people for whom you are grateful. Why are you grateful for these people? What have they given you that makes you feel richer, happier, and more fulfilled? What can you give back to someone else? What can you do for someone that would make them feel grateful? Who in your life is worse off than you, and what can you do to help? When my cupboards are nearly bare, I often give away food. I think of the times when I have been hungry, and believe the least I can do is share some of what I have with someone else. We always have something we can give. My friend Emory, owner of the Luminata Bookstore in Monterey, shared his belief that he always gives something away. He keeps a container of sticks of incense on the counter in his shop, and offers it as a gift of appreciation. I love the idea. Giving away something we value, can also be a way to share. Mental health experts, religious leaders, healers, counselors, and many other people realize that one of the best things we can do to improve our sense of self is to help someone else. For those who overdo helping others at the expense of taking care of themselves, this works in reverse. Before we can take care of someone else, we need to be in good shape. It's a constant balancing act. That's what is being called for right now. We need to embrace the journey of our lives, and realize it is a dynamic process. We can build in spiritual exercises, physical conditioning, proper diet and rest, and healthy boundaries and relationships. All of which will help when times get tough. None of which will prevent life from happening. Unless you have intentionally set the wheels in motion to cause harm to yourself or others, most of the time you are not responsible for the earthquake that knocks down your home, the job that didn't come through, the relationship that didn't work out, or the other challenges that are part of being human. Self reflection and awareness, self care and compassion for others, and an ongoing awareness of life's journey can help you continually get grounded in your experience of being a human. Your spiritual nature has gifts galore to develop and use when times are tough. Just having time is a gift for someone who has been studying for years and had no time. Use what you have now, to strengthen yourself for what's next.
The one thing that I can count on is that whatever the present situation is, it will change. If I am so attached to the situation that I resist change, transformation becomes much more a struggle than it needs to be. Recognize the gifts in each moment. What is blessing you right now? Can you find the gifts in the garbage? It's all about how you view your life, and what you believe about how things happen or not. Be patient, and be ready. Be attentive, and release negative patterns that trap you in old ideas, beliefs, and stories that no longer fit you. Create a new story that you can walk toward. This morning, I awoke before dawn to get ready to travel home. I had spent the night with friends in Portland on my way home from my family in San Francisco. No one was awake, so I made myself a cup of tea, and noticed a small book sitting on the counter by some Christmas decorations. The title of the book is Get It Done. It was written by my friend's son-in-law, Kressi. A year ago, Kressi lost a job he had had for many years. A trained musician, composer, and writer, Kressi began the book by writing about how he came to write the book. He wrote about his life and his philosophy of how he views life. He talked of learning to roll with the punches, and learning to use every experience or situation to learn something, to become stronger, to work towards your dreams, and to not give up. He told me later that he "had to write the book." And in the book he talked about learning that by losing a job he had outgrown but wouldn't just leave, he was given the gift of time and perspective--and the inspiration to write this beautiful book.
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